It takes a big man to accept your small tips

My Husband is a bartender and a server at a local restaurant - he does this because, as a professor in a small local college, his pay is....unreliable.

My husband earns each and every dollar on hope, hope that his customers will be sane, hope that they will enjoy their food and his service - but mostly hope that he will get tipped appropriately.

If you eat at his restaurant, for the duration of your meal, you are his employer. He basically works as an independent contractor; he has no insurance, no sick days, no vacation days and his base pay is below minimum wage because it is the custom in this country to tip 15% for good service and 20% for great service. For some people this is a career - not just something that little Jenny does during her summers home from college. These people work hard, they are on their feet for hours at a time and they navigate crowded rooms with hot liquids and sharp implements, they are diplomats, baby-sitters, and counselors all while smiling and remembering that the folks at table 12 need an extra fork and have to catch a movie in 20 minutes.

As the keeper of the books in our family I enjoy great stress every week because we never know how much money he will make. A week of rainy weather? Bad tips. Kitchen messes up the order? Bad tip. Tourists? Crap shoot. Yes, he has a lot of wonderful, regular clients who eat there each week. If it weren't for them we'd be eating ramen noodles every night.

All I'm asking is that you think about it next time you tally up your restaurant check; was your server good to you? Did they give you a little of themselves? Then, please - be good to them.