Wicked Howl Cafe

Imagine...



Close your eyes for a moment (after you finish reading of course) and imagine a place right in the middle of downtown Salem; a place for locals and tourists alike. This is a comfortable place where the first thing you are offered as you walk through the door is genuine hospitality.

At the Wicked Howl Cafe we simply serve honest food at reasonable prices in a place as comfortable as your own living room. We are not reinventing the wheel, we are helping the world to stop spinning for a while. Come on in! The beer isn't going to drink itself!

We will be open nightly for dinner beginning at 5PM and serving until at least 10PM. Our servers will satisfy your hunger with a late night menu until Midnight. Check out our innovative drink menu blending the best from the espresso bar with the skill of our experienced bartenders. Please take some time to look over our extensive menu of hard to find craft beers and exceptional wines.

In the kitchen Chef Wolf will be serving up comfort and spice. (should I trademark that phrase "comfort and spice"? I like it) Try our tequila and lime marinated shrimp from the grill, or check out our twist on the tired ol'burger - stuffed with spicy pulled pork and seasoned to please. Grilled pizza with fresh ricotta, fragrant herbs and roasted garlic is sized just right for two.

Relax with your friends and graze from our long list of appetizers including: a crusty French loaf served with seasoned olive oil, sald cod brandade and creamy black bean dip, or spicy grilled buffalo tenders with the usual fixin's, maybe a layered Tex-Mex cheese dip with warm tortilla chips would do the trick, and don't forget our home-made waffle cut potato chips topped with either crumbled blue cheese or smoked turkey gravy.

Longing for a sandwich and some nice hot soup? Try our grilled chicken and corn chowder with a BLFT (bacon lettuce and fried tomato) sandwich. How about a cuban sandwich? We've got spicy chili and we've got Grandma's chicken soup. What's not to like?

Need a heartier meal? Try our porter marinated steak tips or our roast turkey dinner complete with garlic smashed potatoes and gravy. Make sure you take a look at our weekly specials for things like pan-seared scallops topped with a sweet soy dressing served with gingered jasmine rice.

Sink your teeth into some wicked good food.

Wicked Howl Cafe
Think Global, Act Lobo
In the heart of downtown Salem at Pickering Wharf.

Just imagine.

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OK who wants in?

Let the haunting begin!

So begins Halloween in Salem 2006. Tours are in full swing, the air is crisp, the trees they are a changin' (sorry Bob) shop windows are filled with orange and black items and green flesh. The streets are getting paved and painted and the "No Parking" signs are getting dragged out for another season. I can almost feel my nose getting longer and I sense a little tickle on the end where there might just grow a wee hairy mole. (mole, moley, mole)

Let's all put our hands together in silent prayer to the entity(s) of our own choosing that this season will suck little and entertain much. Maybe we'll even make some money.

Pet Peeve #1

Self-centered pedestrians drive me BONKERS!!!!

Yes, you have the right of way. I'll do my best not to kill you - but please DON'T ASSUME I CAN SEE YOU, look around! Be responsible for your own health! Whatever you do, don't leap out from behind a god-dammed UPS truck and saunter in front of me assuming my brakes are good and my reflexes impeccable.

Oh, and if there is a crosswalk nearby, use the fucking thing. By all means, be my guest, I'm looking for you there.

Are you part of a crowd, say...getting out of church, a concert or a movie? Please - cross in clusters. Oh, Please.
There...is....nothing...more....frustrating....to
wait...for...than...a...dribble...of....pedestrians
with..no...end...in...sight.

If you press the button to change the light - wait for the fucking walk signal you selfish cocksucker!!! DO NOT cross against the light anyway - sticking the rest of us with a red light. DO NOT leave us waiting around for jack shit while you go on your merry fucking way. DON'T DO IT!!! I WILL hunt you down and eat your fucking spleen in front of your horrified little Goth friends. You bastard!

A Rafter of Turnips

Almost every Tuesday evening myself and a group of friends gather at O'Neills Pub in Salem for a friendly game of trivia. (Our team name last night was Crocodile Tears, in memory of Steve Erwin.) Chris, our trivia jockey, is a great guy - funny and a little bit angry; just the way we like 'em. This week got off to a slow start but we had a cracker-jack team and came from behind to win. Ahhh, the smell of a free gift certificate in the evening...

I digress.

One of this week's challenges was to match a list of group names with the animals that belong in that group. (Such as a litter of kittens.) It was super easy, he even listed the animal names along the bottom - simple mix and match.

We got bored. We drank beers.

We decided to make up our own damn group names and gave him a second list of alternative answers.


Here is the real quiz, see how you do:

1. Gam (or pod)
2. Rafter
3. String
4. Yoke
5. Pride
6. Troop
7. Band
8. Murder
9. Colony
10. Bed

Choose from - Kangaroos, Crows, Gorillas, Ponies, Ants, Lions, Oxen, Clams, Whales, Turkeys.














Here it is again, first the true answer and then our version.

1. Gam (or pod) - Whales
A Gam of Legs

2. Rafter - Turkeys
A Rafter of Turnips

3. String - Ponies
A String of Pearls

4. Yoke - Oxen
A Yoke of Eggs

5. Pride - Lions
A Pride of Queers

6. Troop - Kangaroos
A Troop of Fs

7. Band - Gorillas
A Band of Radios

8. Murder - Crows
A Murder of Comedians

9. Colony - Ants
A Colony of Pilgrims

10.Bed - Clams
A Bed of Springs


We had a good time. And, yes, we're nerds.

Be Honest

Hello Friends, Strangers, Countrypersons,

I am really, seriously thinking about opening my own restaurant. Not today, not tomorrow - but someday soon. Nothing big, mind you - something intimate that speaks to quality and local, seasonal ingredients paired with lots of caffeine. Think upscale diner meets coffee house - then add nostalgia, my crazy sense of humor and community involvement. Think Raspberry Lime Rickeys, Iced Americanos, Pannini sandwiches and clam chowder. (plus compost and recycling.)

I figure it will be seasonal; longer hours in the summer - shorter in the winter and closed for a couple of weeks during the grimmest of seasons, say...February or March.
closed on all the holidays where we can't make any money. Treat the staff well, just like I'd want them to treat the customers.

I'm lookin' at this as a Mom & Pop operation with a few key employees to help us during the busy times - plus some teenagers as summer help. Maybe some soft-serve ice cream.

What do you think? Could I pull it off?